Single Files: Not settling for less
Written by Megan Read | 
However, I'm glad that I'm not forcing myself to begin or stay in a relationship that isn't right for me.
A good friend of mine used to say, "You have to be picky to get what you want." This wise quote has followed me through life, and for better or worse, I've found myself using it as a rule of thumb when assessing a potential mate. Yet, I find many of the people I know do not. Although it is difficult to be picky when looking for a mate in a town barren of eligible singles like Pueblo, people shouldn't settle for someone who doesn't make them happy, fulfill their needs or provoke the butterfly-in-the-tummy syndrome.
On a regular basis, I find myself talking to people who tell me that, although they feel they shouldn't be with the partner they're dating or married to, they believe they have to settle because they are "afraid of being alone." Yes, there are plenty of people out there who go through life miserable, or at least unfulfilled, because they are too afraid to tell their significant other that it isn't working out.
Furthermore, many people are perfectly satisfied with the fact that they're staying in a relationship that doesn't make them happy because they think things will get better. While there are many couples that are able to work out their problems, there are also many couples that need to be honest with each other and call it quits. Nobody ever benefitted from dragging out a really bad thing.
While some plod through life in relationships way past their expiration date, others chronically and eagerly jump into relationships-any relationship. These people just can't be single, either physically or emotionally. They perpetually find themselves in a string of unsuccessful relationships because the thought of developing or nurturing friendships over a period of time with a potential lover isn't satisfying enough; they need instantaneous relationship security from anyone who is willing to give it.
Not only are these people doing a disservice to themselves by prohibiting their personal growth outside of a relationship, they are also hurting singles like me who want to really get to know someone before taking the plunge. How can I decide if I really want to be in a relationship with someone if they don't give me enough time to explore our friendship? I find myself in this predicament quite often, and when I meet a guy who wants to immediately delve into a relationship, a warning sign flashes and I jump ship.
I'll admit that there was a time in my life when I always found myself in a relationship, even if it wasn't satisfactory or healthy. I have dated many men I hoped to change (the biggest mistake a woman could ever make), and I have also dated men who probably wanted to change me. I have dated men who didn't appreciate me, and I would put up with it because I thought they might learn to respect me. I guess I should have known that you shouldn't ever stay with an asshole, but some things one only learns from experience.
Eventually, however, I learned to break the cycle of dependency, and now I'm happily single with some good prospects on the way. I waited for those prospects, and I'm being rewarded for my patience. Yes, it has been difficult, but I'm really starting to enjoy the single life, even as I explore options for a relationship.
Although 2012 might bring on the end of the world, I can face my ultimate demise in peace knowing that I never settled for anything less than what I really want.
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