Single Files: "Friend" conversion
Written by Rico Amore | 
Spring is around the corner, you can tell by the rain and the guys willing to fight for a bar floozy they just met. You can also tell by bar floozies breaking out tank tops and flip-flops. All the better to show off that sweet tattoo of a butterfly on the small of the back. Well reader, if you remember all the promises I made in previous articles, I am about to reveal to you the single most important Single File secret ever: getting past friend stage.
The urban legend is that women will have decided if they will sleep with you in the first 30 seconds of meeting you. But the reality is ... well no one will ever know if that is true or not because women are known to change their minds more than the mercurial winds of fate change direction.
Many a single dude has seen a hot lady at a coffee shop art opening, been introduced and then thought of as a friend, as someone who is "nice." Arrgh, the death knell whispered from the lips of vixens to unsuspecting guys everywhere: "You're sweet, such a good friend, and so nice." Bang, you're done for.
Fret no more, comrade; you don't have to be stuck in this stage. You can take a number of approaches to get her from friend to girlfriend, but you must first analyze the problem. Does she have a boyfriend? Is she into chicks? Are you a repulsive loser with no job prospects and a criminal history? Maybe she thinks you aren't into her, or she had confidence issues. Whatever the situation, you need to know where you stand.
In some cases your only hope is friend stage and you are lucky that you are even this close. The main impediments:
- She is a man-savvy, smoking-hot babe who has been dating good-looking, rich guys since she was 16. Unless you are a drug dealer, a rap star, or have mad game (in which case you would not be reading this article) you have no chance at getting this girl so don't even waste your time or money. This girl hardly knows you exist, so there is no way she is even thinking of dating you.
- She has a boyfriend or husband. I advise you to stay away lest you be accomplice to cuckoldry.
- She doesn't know you're interested. This is the most common "friend" to convert. She thinks you're a friend because your signals are not strong enough (i.e. you're a pussy). You don't want to go all crazy and make her get a restraining order on you. Instead, try the direct approach. Start with compliments; all women are suckers for compliments. Notice shoes, haircut, hair color, nails, clothes, car, job, pets, house/apartment. Literally anything can be complimented.
Go from there to something stronger like, "we should get coffee/movie/dinner." If she still doesn't want to get closer, one of the categories above must apply. On the other hand, she might see this as the opportunity she was waiting for and answer with, "Oh, yes! That would be awesome." Look for prolonged eye contact or casual touching as signs that she's into you.
Are you sure you want to do this in the first place? Most times a good female friend is worth far more than another girlfriend. Consider that if you do go out with her and things turn sour, you will have lost both a lover and a friend. Also consider that going out to a bar with a trusted female friend is better than a wingman. She can make you look like you're worthy of dating, and she can potentially stir up some jealousy by making you look hard to get.
On the other hand, she might be just an OK friend that you just met and wouldn't care if she ever talked to you again (shallow son-of-a bitch that you are). Or she is simply too hot and you have gone long enough pretending that you are fine with being friends. Either way, you're ready to stop being so "nice."
Like I said, don't go all psycho and potentially go to jail or have to move to another town. You want to drop some subtle hints that you are into her. Find a common interest and go from there. Something like, "I noticed you like getting drunk. Wanna go get plowed at Panic Hour?" You get the idea.
Another angle is to seem curiously dangerous; find a motorcycle jacket and tell a story about how your parole officer is impressed with your progress. This sounds like a horrible idea, I know, but nice guys are the ones who pay for dinner and get a kiss on the cheek; arrogant jerks show up late smelling like booze and stay the night. WARNING: this does not work for everyone. A lot of girls hate guys who aren't nice and sweet. And, some guys try to be tough and end up going from friend stage to asshole stage.
Tune in next time when I explain how to decorate your house (or parent's basement) for maximum mack-ability.
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