January 2010

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of my single life.

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I started writing this column. Although I never thought I would be talking about my single life in a public forum like P.U.L.P., I am sitting here reflecting on everything I have written.

In the past year, I have: dated a number of men, most of whom didn’t make it past the second or third date; suffered triumphs and downfalls with these various men; and pulled my hair out in frustration at the fact that—although Pueblo has a population of over 100,000 people—I couldn’t find a guy who has watched and enjoyed a Woody Allen or Pedro Almodóvar film.

I spent most of 2009 in dating limbo. Although I tried to label most of the experiences—good and bad—as “learning opportunities,” they were really just cause for me to retract in fear whenever an interested man entered my hemisphere.

But since it’s a new year, I think it’s time to take all of the information I’ve learned and make some productive changes and improvements in my romantic life.

And what have I learned?

First of all, I’ve firmly established that the dating scene in Pueblo is pretty dismal. This hasn’t changed in a year. I used to be gung-ho about going out to some of Pueblo’s classier social establishments, but now I hole up in my apartment watching Mad Men and drinking vodka martinis rather than risk getting harassed by the creepers at the local bars or seeing any ex-boyfriends or dates.

Does this bother me? Not really. Don Draper is some mighty find eye-candy to look at on a Friday night.

Secondly, I’ve learned to be upfront about these facts: I don’t rush into relationships, and I am not interested in immediately being someone’s girlfriend. I always assumed that men were the culprits of the “lack of commitment” syndrome, but I now consider myself an honorary member of their club.

And last but not least? I’ve learned that relationships and dating are scary, confusing things. If I weren’t a 25-year-old woman with ticking time-clock ovaries and a need to have some stability in my life, I would probably leave the dating scene behind forever.

If you were looking for something uplifting in this column, I apologize. However, all is not lost for the singles of Pueblo who find themselves driving to Denver simply to spend an evening in the company of a date who hasn’t been arrested for possession or flunked out of college during freshman year.

Every single person who believes in making New Year’s resolutions, or a variation on that theme, should plan on making 2010 a positive year—regardless of their love-life forecast.

Last year wasn’t a complete relationship failure for me. I have learned a few things about being single by pouring out my heart in this column. I now understand, after a year of in-depth introspection, what I want and what I can live without.

If you don’t know what you’re looking for, I recommend writing or keeping a journal to reflect on your romantic experiences. Analyze yourself to determine where you may have gone wrong, so that when you find the person you’re looking for, you will be ready.

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