There is an issue that has been on my mind for quite some time now when it comes to sex. Now that I am single, it is no surprise that I have racked up a few more partners. I always want to make sure that I am protected from sexually transmitted diseases as well as unplanned pregnancy.

Yet, what bothers me is that almost every man I have been with protests the use of a condom. I would have to say, statistically speaking, 9 out of 10 bitch to me about using a condom.

That does not sit well with me at all. Like the saying goes, "No glove, no love." Considering unplanned pregnancies and STDs, this attitude with men is astonishing to me. But, I guess, that does explain why both issues continue to plague humanity.

A couple of years ago, I was seeing a much older man. At the time we were dating he was 52. We were loosely seeing each other and never had sex, so of course it didn't last. We never had sex because he refused to wear a condom, and I refused to put myself at risk. Months after I left him, he started seeing another gal. I had asked him if he had changed his ways. He hadn't.

He began to inform me that, because of his age, he was too old to catch STDs including HIV. Now I have come across a lot of ignorance in my short 29 years of life on this rock, but that takes the cake! He never even mentioned the chance of having an unplanned pregnancy because of his neglectful attitude. According to him, again, he was too old for that.

After only two weeks of seeing this gal, she informed him that she was pregnant. Surprise, surprise!  A month later, they wed but eventually divorced. He now has many years of child support all because he didn't want to wear a condom. He cried to me, ranting that she was on the pill. Unless the gal's tubes are tied or she has had a hysterectomy, no one method of birth control - pill, shot, IUD, implant, etc. - is 100% effective!

Now, some of this I understand. "It doesn't feel the same" is the phrase I keep hearing. Well, no kidding! It doesn't feel the same for us women either. Some of the more popular statements made by men regarding the non-use of a condom are the following:

1. It doesn't feel the same.

2. I'll pull out before . . .

3. I'm too old to catch AIDS.

4. You can't catch HIV through anal sex right?

Now, I am not ganging up on the men. I do know that there are women who refuse to protect themselves for the same reason. They might even refuse a condom because they want a baby. An unplanned pregnancy is one thing. An STD is another. Even if she says she is on birth control, you don't want an STD.

I was friends with a guy who traveled a lot. He used the Internet to arrange sex. If it was a new town, it was a new girl. I asked him if he was taking any precautions, and his answer was "no." To be honest, I was not shocked by his answer. I lectured him until my face turned blue, but it didn't do any good. He was 26 with a four year-old daughter but did not want to be cautious. I heard he is now HIV positive and has stopped having sex since he was diagnosed.

This attitude in men that I keep coming across scares me to death.

So to the men and women out there having casual sex like I am, I have one thing to say to you all: FUCKING COVER IT UP!

Questions or comments? Email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it