February 2010

Hey moms and dads. Answer these questions:

1. Have you seen a good movie together lately? (Kids movies don’t count.)

2. Did you go to a fabulous New Year’s Eve party?

3. Have you seen a live band play recently?

4. Do you have a big romantic date planned for Valentine’s Day?

If you answered “no” to all of these questions, you are either: A) Really boring people, or B) Having the babysitter blues. I can’t really help you with A, but I hope to shine some light on B.

Now, if you’re one of those lucky families that has trustworthy relatives nearby who take genuine pleasure in watching your kids, you can just stop reading here and go read Barfly or something. Better yet, go out, you lucky saps!

Acquiring a good, trustworthy babysitter is an asset if you, like me, don’t have family nearby. Without an occasional date night or just a peaceful outing on your own, you are very likely to lose your mind or at least get burned out.

Babysitting is a good system: The babysitter gets paid (in most cases). You get a break. Your kids get a change of pace and often enjoy an opportunity to stretch the rules and test a new person. Everyone wins!

From talking to friends, I concluded that the hardest part about finding a dependable, trustworthy babysitter is their damned social lives. Any typical high school kid wants to hang out with friends, go to football games, and attend dances or any other silly function that gets between us and our sitters.

Someone recently said three brilliant words in regards to avoiding this dilemma—“Home-Schooled Kid.” Now, I mean no disrespect, as I am sure many of these teens have active social lives. However, many parents have found that home-schooled teens don’t have the rigid schedules of sports games and dances going on each weekend like the typical school-attending teenager. So if you are a responsible home-schooled teen who wants a babysitting gig, where are you? We need you!

If you don’t know of an eligible sitter, the best course of action would be to get a referral from a friend. The possible danger here is that you may be competing for said sitter. Denying either set of parents a little freedom could really strain a friendship. You may also know some friends or neighbors with teenage children who could be possible sitters. Knowing their families may allow you to better gauge their character. Also if s/he lives really close, you and your spouse don’t have to argue about who has to drive the sitter home.

Other resources for finding a sitter can be found on the Internet. Two sites that I found are sittercity.com and care.com. Both sites help you find local babysitters when you type in a zip code. Some caregivers even include background checks and pictures. (Note to prospective child care providers: You may not want to use the same picture for seeking a babysitting job that you use for online dating—different audience!)

If you’re not comfortable leaving your children with a teen or someone you don’t know well, there are a few other possibilities. Rotating play dates is one of these. In this scenario, one family, whom you trust, watches your kid(s). Next time, you switch off and take theirs. This can be a great solution if you have similar schedules, no one abuses the arrangement, and all the children involved are compatible.

Friends with grown or no children can often be great candidates for watching your kids. My husband and I often take this route and usually give beer, wine, baked goods, or provide dinners to repay this most selfless act. If you have three or four friends in the rotation, you avoid the possibility of abusing this arrangement.

Most of these suggestions are for short-term sitters, but if it is long-term childcare you are seeking, Children First is a great resource. They operate out of Pueblo Community College and provide free referrals for childcare or preschools. They can be reached at 1-877-338-CARE or online at www.pueblocc.edu under “community and industry.”

Good luck in your search for a good babysitter. Remember that a little change of pace is good for your children and exposing them to other people can help them develop socialization skills and be more flexible. See, everyone wins. Get out there and have a great date!

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