January 2010

This fall I experienced an amazing, five-week adventure: I traveled to Bali, Indonesia, leaving my husband and three boys behind, to complete the clinical requirements for my midwifery program.

Why Bali?

Bali is home to a birth center, Yayasan Bumi Sehat, which seeks to provide women with a peaceful birth option where few choices exist. It was founded by an American midwife, and, as such, met my midwifery's programs requirements. The founder, Robin Lim, is a well-known and respected midwife and author, and I was eager to learn from her.

Additionally, Bali is a small, Hindu island amid the world's most populous Muslim country—Indonesia. I have been an armchair scholar of religion and have always been intrigued by the topic. Moreover, I practice yoga, and was especially interested to learn more about Hinduism and Buddhism—both of which are prominent in Bali.

While some of what I saw confirmed my beliefs, I definitely confronted some of my preconceived notions. For example, I expected extreme male-centered attitudes from the Muslim families (thinking that women covering must be an act of oppression), but found the opposite to be true. Those fathers were the most devoted and attentive to their laboring wives. And, nothing was sweeter than watching fathers whisper “The Call to Prayer” into their newborn's ears so that it was the first sound their babies heard.

There are a few other birth centers, even in the U.S., where I could have gained my clinical experience. But, I figured why not go big and travel half way around the world? My only previous international experience was crossing the border to have lunch in Mexico, so this was an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me.

As a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman, I have always blended in with our cultural majority. There, I stood out. Looking different, not speaking the language, needing to rely on the kindness of others to communicate and do business was an experience everyone should have. I believe it was an exercise in compassion—not in giving, but in receiving.

Lessons Learned

Pragmatically, I learned many lessons: how to control a postpartum hemorrhage, how to exchange currency, how to use a squat toilet, how wealthy the U.S. truly is, and how to suture. I learned that, most of the time, birth just works and so very little is truly required in the way of supplies and equipment.

I learned a fair amount of another language (and realized that it is shameful that I don't speak more Spanish when so many of our neighbors do). I learned that no individual is immune from human fallibility and not to waste my energy on hero worship.

I learned humility, from both the perspective of being a student (and the apprenticeship model is one of harsh lessons) and from the realization that, as Westerners, we do not always have the answers or know “the way.” I expected to have much to offer, but really I had far more to learn.

Most importantly, I learned that we are all basically the same. Sure, we are products of our culture, and rightly so. But, in the end, it is truly the condition of being human that binds us together. Perhaps it is because most of my time was spent with families in that most basic of human experiences: childbirth.

I witnessed that women all have the same needs and responses to the intense reality of birth—that a kind look, gentle touch, and encouraging word (because, really, I only had a few in my repertoire) will transcend our inability to communicate with language.

Finally, I learned that no matter where you live, you will find friends and become irrevocably entangled in each other’s lives. Our world is small; I now know that there is much more that my children need to see.

I learned that the Balinese are on to something with parenting: cherish your babies, share your children—it really does take a village. I learned that my family is the best thing I have ever created, and that their lives are the natural epicenter of my own.

I learned that Pueblo is my home, and I would not trade it permanently for the most gorgeous and exotic of places. Not even Bali.

PHOTO CAPTION: Gina Gerboth, an intern midwife, sits with a mother and newborn at a birth center in Bali, Indonesia.

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