Great Quotes

"America can no longer afford the rich." - Rocky Garber

"The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights." - Paul Getty

Dear Legendary,

What should America do about Guantanamo Bay and all those Al-Qaeda jokers?

I thought Obama was going to ship those guys to Idaho where revenge is sweet, and sheep wear lipstick on Saturday night. I kinda like the idea of terror suspects in chain link dog runs, in their day-glow orange jump suits - it all seems very efficient to me.

I remember when Castro sent Tony Montana to America and he started banging Michelle Pfeifer. I still haven't forgiven Jimmy Carter for that one. So Legendary, could we just let those terrorists go, open the doors and pay those commie bastard Cubans back for the Muriel boat lift? Hell! Give 'em some burlap bags to wear and they'd fit right in.

Sincerely,

-Full of Good Ideas

Dear Full of It,

Only in America do we take pride in an international disgrace. Just a few years ago, your idea would have made perfect sense, to those who mattered.

I think I know how to turn those Islamo-fascists into true-blue Americans. I would turn the b's loose on 'em. Here's what I mean:

Blonds, Budweiser, barbecue, bratwurst, beach blanket bingo, Beach Boys, boom boxes, bi-babes, bi-boys, bacon, Busch Beer, big boobs, big breasts, blonds, bullets, B&B, Beethoven, bad babes, did I mention blonds? That would teach 'em.

-Legendary

Little Essay

There is an element in this country that claims to love America more than anyone else. These individuals assume the mantle of a sacred American priesthood, granting themselves the right to defend America by taking possession of our most revered documents. They constantly refer to some imaginary America, a country that never was and a time that is impossible to return to. I fear they secretly hate America, and all their efforts only serve to damage her.

I fear their only real concern is money. I fear their leaders are only interested in power and its benefits, truth being the first casualty if it interferes. These men will erupt, and grow more strident as a natural result of the huge population increase we are experiencing. A hundred million people in the last 40 years alone. It might not be wise to look to the past when the future is looming large. A species can only tolerate so much success.

-Legendary